Wow, ok so here it is, raw, and unabridged.
When I was 19, and in a really rough time in my life, I had an abortion. Not a day goes by that I don't kick myself for it. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder, boy, or girl? I wonder what (s)he would have looked like, acted like, and what my life would be like now if I would have not terminated that pregnancy. That was my crashing point in life. I had hit rock bottom. I had no idea that it could go further, or that I could hurt worse.
How do you forgive yourself for something like that? Something I now consider taking a life, I suppose I have partly left that up to God. Most of you that know me, know I am not a religious person, well, I am, but I don't push it on people and I am not flamboyant about it. I like to keep it within my family and to myself. But I have given that completely to God as of today and have asked for his forgiveness, as well as asking for the ability to forgive myself.
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